The first man who took an interest in me went by the name of Ryan, according to his profile. A self-declared skiing fanatic, he had maintained a profile online for two years. I sent him joking emails for a few weeks until he asked for my number. When I emailed it to him, I asked that he call me at a certain time. He emailed me with a message that he might call me, if it were convenient, after his volunteer shift as a first aid attendant and patroller on the weekend. A red flag went up for me at that moment. A man who has a busy life, full with two jobs, skiing and volunteer work, is unavailable and uninterested. I am not a shoe-in for these types.
Of course, he never called. I forgot about him, but he somehow found me twice, in a crowd, and made fun of me for contacting him online. Once, he bothered me downtown by a local pub, where he sat on the patio with some friends and a pitcher of beer. The second time, I left the mall with a few purchases. He showed up with the same blonde again, who wore a tank top and light jeans in cold weather, without a jacket, shoes, gloves or a scarf.
Perhaps he feels that his woman has to freeze her butt off to impress him. She didn't have one, so she had no worries there. Her body language suggested that she was more concerned with appearances than comfort. These cool people wear shorts, mesh tops and sandals in the middle of a snowstorm, and would probably cover themselves with meat and mud, aka Lady Gaga, if required by the fashion industry. They also wear skirts over pants, galoshes with tights, ugly peasant tops, ballet flats in winter and other bizarre looks. I have never considered these types to be stylish in the sense of Marilyn Monroe, Marianne Faithful, Jackie Kennedy or Grace Kelly, since they copy the mentally ill, the homeless, and psychotic people out of institutions.
He struck me as the type who was too good to settle down, since no woman had ever convinced him to make a commitment. I sensed that he was still looking and always would. Men like this will never commit to anyone who is short of perfection, and are better left alone. They live for the moment, use the girl for what they can and move on. I don't know if they are commitment-phobic, opportunistic, delusional, self-absorbed, or all of the above, but they are not worth the trouble.
Incidentally, he contacted me again when I changed my profile and moved it. I have no idea why. He also called me about two months later, and was surprised that I hung up on him. Another man took my request for a phone call or email as a sign that we were together, and changed his profile from single to dating/in a relationship, so I chided him in an email and blocked him.
Another emailed me nine times without any interest on my part. I had one email three times in two hours and another accused me of bothering him. I blocked all of them. The last one, a blonde who resembled a serial killer, continued to email me after I blocked him. I ended up deleting my profile. Also, the website manager became angry with me for sending my phone number to a man who asked me out on a date, and then subsequently turned cold and refused to answer my emails or call me. I took a hint and forgot. It would not surprise me if he tried to call me in three weeks, after emailing me that he would think over the matter. and this excuse was after he asked me out on a date. These men are full of head games and not worth the time and trouble.
Then there are all the men who spend their lives on a mountain with skis, fishing rods, a kayak, a snowboard, a shotgun and wool blanket. They want someone to climb mountains and jump out of airplanes with. I have yet to meet a woman who enjoys these activities, at least in this town. They came up occasionally in the Rockies, where such bears hibernate in summer and play all winter.
These girls were inaccessible to other people, and like these loners, hated human companionship, slept around, couldn't communicate, were hostile and used a lot of drugs. They were hardly relationship material. They were also self-absorbed, highly opinionated and given to self-delusion about how great and desirable they were. The men hate these types, for they remind them of themselves. The old argument that people are attracted to opposites really does hold true. The men always went after the cute girls who liked to work, shop, cook, go out, talk, hangout and meet men.
They dressed fashionably and preferred skateboarding, walking, biking, working out, yoga and swimming to hardcore athletic activities. Some of them tried snowboarding and took an interest in artistic activities, but most of them were not the hardcore athletic types. They refused to date these men, since they would return home soon, often to their boyfriends and old social situations. I am not surprised that these online sites are full of these types, since they are far too difficult to locate a mate for, or find one themselves.
Many of them expect physical perfection. If you are not perfect, forget it. I think a more effective approach to dating is the old-fashioned kind. Go out on dates. Meet your friends' single friends. Try going to social events, speed-dating, a dating service, and take a look at the workplace. You are not going to meet a worthwhile guy online. Lately, there have been stories about women being assaulted on these dates, recruited for prostitution and threatened, so perhaps these men are better left alone.
I had a friend, a real blonde knockout, who tried online dating after her second divorce. She met men who were bald, short and fat, though their profile claimed they were 6"4, trim and athletic. She grew tired of meeting Mama's boys who lived at home and refused to work, though they claimed to be lawyers, engineers, registered nurses, businessmen and entrepreneurs.
She started sending them home. They often rented a sports convertible to impress her, which turned her off. Some asked for sex immediately, and Tamara would say in her thick Russian accent, that she was not the type. Often, she had to walk home several kilometres through Edmonton in order to get away from these sycophants. After hearing these stories, I avoided online dating for years.
My landlady thought it was a good idea, since one of them claimed to be an online dating service. All these sites were disappointments. Many of the girls seem like desperate porn stars, princesses and extremely picky perfectionists. I think these people are single for a reason. You would be better off accepting a date from the guy who paints your base boards or the bartender at the pub over these guys. Good luck online.
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