It's a fact that not all marriages can be or should be saved. There are times that two people just should not be together because they are not compatible for marriage. Then you have the issues such as a cheating spouse which makes for a very difficult time. If one of you has cheated on their spouse, and both of you have decided the marriage is worth saving then you need to step back and evaluate your marriage.
Yes, saving your marriage is possible, but expect the work needed to be done to be difficult. As long as both of you are willing to work together you can have a chance of success. Below are some points to consider.
1. If the person that did the cheating only did this one time, then you have a chance. It was a one time mistake that honestly could happen to anyone during a weaker moment.
Your spouse is not seeing this other person and is truly sorry for the hurt they have caused you.
If this has become an ongoing thing with your spouse then you should not pursue fixing your marriage. Since they have been cheating multiple times, I would not expect them to stop anytime soon. Trying to salvage your marriage at this point would be a futile effort. No matter how much you love them they will just be taking advantage of you, it's time to leave.
2. One of the best measures you and your spouse can take is to keep communicating. Shutting each other off because it is so difficult to talk about your situation will not help. If you can get your spouse to open up about their relationship and explain why they did it and any other details you wish to know, this will help the healing process.
It may be painful to hear what they say but it will do you both good. This will also give you a chance to find out what it was about your relationship that made them stray. You may find that it was not all about sex; it was probably something they were lacking in your relationship that they were looking for. Learning this can help the two of bring back what has been missing between you and bring you closer together.
3. A very difficult step the person that was cheated on must take is to forgive and forget. If you are trying to repair the damage yet keep bringing up the affair, you will be making it extremely difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. As difficult as it may be, do not bring up the issue to rub it in their face.
The one that did the cheating must realize that it can take years for their partner to be able to trust them again. As the one that did the cheating, you can only appreciate the fact that you will have to earn their trust all over again.
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